Monday, July 2, 2012
God , help . I'm lost and broken . I'm like a car without a steering wheel . It's going nowhere . I'm without direction . This is creeping me out . I really don't know what's with me .
I just need all this feeling to stop .
It's just making me feel like such a bitch.
Sunday, June 24, 2012
I really wanna thank God for this bunch of choir committee and section leaders. Love them ttm. A freaking birthday surprise that even my clique didn't give me. But yeah. I love them much. And Jessie too ! Hahahah.
I also wanna thank God .
Thank you Lord , for my 14 years of life . Thank you that I am able to go help others . Please bless me this year that I'll be showered with your blessings and I will grow in you. As I walk towards you, you take a thousand steps towards me. Thank you for your unfailing love . The love that surpasses all understandings. The love that never fails. I can't thank you enough, for the greatest present that you have given me . Christ Jesus . He was the best present ever and thank you .
LoveyouLord. Please watch over me and guide me , as I walk in spirit and in truth .
Daddy hasn't changed at all . And I'm praying that this 40days will be a revival for him. I really hope that he puts God first before everything.
I'm lying on the bed , thinking about so many things . Isabel leaving in 13 days. Now she's at Ariel house cause she's going Bangkok Tmr . When I have school . Walao. It's getting hard trying to sleep alone cause its been 15 years since I had her to sleep with me . So now a bit weird. Will really miss her although I don't say it. Cause hey, it's my sister oaky? I really hate it how my parents take it so easily. I'm a 15 year old kid. What do you expect me to do, not cry? Sorry , she's my sister. 3 weeks without her was hell. Now 4 months first. First time exam she's not here. No one to talk about choir already ): I will really miss her a lot. I lloveyoujie<3
Me and dad never talk a lot. Imagine this is what will happen when mum go with Isabel for 2 weeks . Awkward. I'm kinda getting scared of my dad. He's not like how I used to know. Its... Scary. :/
You know , I still think about you. But I know that God has a plan for me . A plan to prosper me . So who cares about you. I don't want to be annoying so yeah. Shall just wait for you to text me then I reply.
I wanna thank God for 3 special friends. Clarice crystal and mojojoyek. Really nice peeps that cheer you up as scold you also. Sometime it hurts, but after a while, you know the reason why they scold . Cause they care. Love you guys <3 hahaha.
Its like 12:33 . Needa wake up early for school Tmr !
Ciao !
"And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us," Matthew12:1
Your love never fails
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
I've seriously so much in my mind . Less than 2 months with my sister and I have this stupid shit exam. And I don't want to fail. I hate the look on my parents face. Especially my dad's . Whatever I do is also never good enough. Maybe I'm stressing myself too much. But what do you expect me to do? Heck and don't study ? I wish I could. But my attitude is not like this. If I can't get it, I MUST get it. After Isabel goes , then I'll be alone . Like freak. I don't want . I want someone to be here with me . Do you know how I feel ? I have so much pressure on myself already. I just want to give up.
Sunday, May 6, 2012
You said that I was irresponsible. You very responsible meh. Just a pile of shit. I didn't check whatsapp, also my fault. Then when we text you and we don't receive also our fault.
I LEARN THINGS FROM YOU. YOU SHOW ME EXAMPLE THAT I CAN USE MY PHONE DURING DINNER . HEH. OH YEAH, AND I'LL NOT GO MALAYSIA WITH YOU . Idontcare about your feelings at all. Since you fucking don't even bother about mine .
Saturday, May 5, 2012
If you see this , you know I'm talking about you. What has happened to our family ? Dont you find it different or is it the same to you? You used to tell me that I can't go for dinner cause we need to eat as a family but now look at yourself . It used to be work , family then other things. Now it's photo, Facebook, work then family. You said I was self centred . Reflect on yourself. Wasn't what you said hurtful too ? Then did you care about my feelings ? You always say must write IOU. Is it that important ? Is money your everything ? That I need to pay you back ? Is this how you want your daughter to treat you? Stop being so proud and just reflect. Take a look at yourself. Go REACH OUT to your friends. BRING THEM TO CHRIST ! Now all you think about is Facebook and photos. WHAT HAPPENED To me ? If that is really what you think about , then I'm utterly disgusted.
Yes, it's a good hobby . But WHERE IS GOD IN YOUR LIFE ?! you used to say that Friday was for work , now it's or your friends . Lol your "friends" . I didn't say that this is bad. But at least use it to reach lah. Wth and you so old still use words like "lolx" -.- a bit extra uh.
Our family is broken . In case you didn't realise . Everyone feels the change. It's not like I'm the free-est girl in the world. I need to do things too. But I SET TIME FOR GOD. I wake up to serve God and not take sunrise. I wake up to praise him.
I'm at 15 year old kid trying to tell something to a 50 year old man. Ironic much.
I'm just telling you, if you continue that bloody attitude of yours. Then the family will break. And you can enjoy all the photography that you have . And oh, I'm not free to go m'sia with you. I have my own mother's day to celebrate. And , I made plans with my friends . HAH.
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Actually all I want is to just soak in God's presence . And not care about the things of this world. Sounds like a plan?
I just feel wasted. Wasted
